Would I Think Of Suicide? – Desperate Housewives

There is a killer walking among the residents of Fairview and apparently, he’s not finished.

First Julie was attacked, now Emily, the coffee shop girl, is dead. Could it really be anyone besides one of the Bolens? I think if it were Nick, they’re making it too obvious. I’m guessing another Bolen should be suspected. Nick tells Angie that he was Emily’s last customer. He wants to run again, but she seems to think they have enough luck to get through it. Maybe what they need is a miracle, not luck.

“If someone really wants to get you, they can get you,” says Julie, who is, understandably, super freaked out. She is afraid her attacker is going to follow her if she goes somewhere so she switches cars with Carl. This ends up being a giant problem when Susan sees Julie’s car outside some sleazy motel. She assumes Julie is in their with Nick. She is ready to break down the door until she peaks through the window and sees Bree and Carl.

photo courtesy of fanpop.com

The ladies go to a self-defense class. Susan chooses to tell Bree that she knows about the affair while she has Bree in a headlock. Bree tells Susan she is willing to stop being friends with Susan if she has to to be with Carl and storms out. Susan has Bree and Carl over to give Bree the “Carl facts.” She really doesn’t seem to care how awful he was to Susan and says she will trust him because she loves him. Loves him? That’s the first time that phrase pops out. Susan gets over her anger really quickly and gives them her blessing.

As a part of Bree and Carl’s plot to get Bree a divorce from Orson, Bree visits a “friend” of Orson’s (a.k.a. flossy’s) from the inside. Bree pays him $600 to come talk to Orson so that he would violate his parole and Bree could blackmail him into a divorce. The convict comes, so we’ll see next week how this plays out.

Danny tells Julie that he knows about the affair between her and his dad. Oddly, he still wants to be with her. She flat-out tells him that’s just weird and it’s never going to happen. Next we see, Danny’s passed out on his bed with an empty bottle of pills. He regains consciousness in the hospital, but wakes up telling Mona, their neighbor/nurse, that his real name is Tyler. Huh?

photo courtesy of tvovermind.com

It’s war between the Scavo’s and Solis’. Carlos keeps trying to push Lynette out by throwing her a goodbye party and moving her office to a supply closet. Gaby and Carlos decide to let up and call a truce just as Lynette’s lawyer serves Carlos papers letting him know Lynette is suing them. Truce is over, war is on. Carlos gives Lynette an impossible assignment to complete in a night and fires her when she doesn’t complete it. She warns him she is not going quietly.

We learn a couple new facts about the Bolen’s tonight, but nothings perfectly pieced together yet. Angie murdered someone. Nick and Angie met with “the others” on November 10th, 1991 and after that night they became invisible for 18 years. Angie has a reason to run, but Nick didn’t have to. Nick called the feds which pisses Angie off because now they know they’re still alive.

photo courtesy of tvovermind.com

photo courtesy of tvovermind.com

Katherine has reached a new level of crazy. First she tells MJ that his mom is a bad person because she stole Mike from her and she’s is not getting any younger and it’s hard to meet men. Okay, that’s a little comical. Mike warns Katherine if she talks to MJ one more time she will “know what he’s capable of.” Katherine makes the mistake of picking up MJ from a birthday party and bringing him to her house. She tells Mike that MJ deserves to know the truth and that Susan is a bad person. Mike retaliates. Really retaliates. He tells Katherine that throughout their whole relationship all he thought about was Susan. Every time they were ever together he was always wishing it was Susan. Holy freakin crap. Katherine hold a knife up to her neck and tells him to kill her, it would hurt less. Of course Mike doesn’t, he leaves. Katherine proceeds to call 911 and stab herself. I don’t know if she wants people to think she attempted suicide and feel sorry for her, or if she is going to try to frame Mike, or what.

Next week promises to be the most explosive episode of the season. It’s the holiday’s – Susan comes up with a plan to help Katherine, Bree and Orson come to an agreement and a plane crashes on Wisteria Lane.

Watch The Full Episode Here

Careful The Things You Say – Desperate Housewives

Susan believes that Katherine attacked Julie because Angie put that idea in her head in last weeks episode. It would’ve made sense for Angie to say that if they were still considering Danny as their main suspect, but his name has been cleared. I have an inkling that she is covering up for someone else, say, Nick?

Moose and Susan (photo courtesy of abc.com)

The detective that offers to investigate Katherine, Denise Lapera, has an old bone to pick with Susan. In high school, Susan gave her the nickname moose and stole her boyfriend. Seriously, who holds a grudge like that for like 20 years? That’s just a tad pathetic moose.

Moose talks to Katherine and learns Katherine‘s alibi – she was on the phone with her Dylan, her no-longer-existent-on-this-show daughter. While moose is talking to Katherine, she learns that Susan shot Katherine and since Susan failed to report it, she arrests Susan for her “closure.”

Angie cooks a 10,000 course meal for Bree and Orson in hopes of Bree hiring her. Initially Bree says no until a sausages and peppers crowd catering job for 500 pops up and Bree will only be hired if she makes some authentic Italian food. Bree feeds Angie a sob story about an Italian food loving, burn victim friend in hopes of getting Angie‘s recipes. Angie gives them to her, but then catches Bree making them for an anniversary party. Well, Angie calls Bree a 2-faced condescending bitch who will never make a dime off of her dead grandmother. Bree apologizes to Angie and hires her and of course they have a little heart to heart. Angie tells Bree if there’s one thing she knows how to do is keep things to herself. With Bree and Angie, it’s tack vs. candid.

Gabby starts homeschooling Juanita and gets completely stressed out about it. The Solis’ new housekeeper, Ivana, stops cleaning and starts teaching. Gabby of course doesn’t fill in Carlos about this, so he fires Ivana. Eventually, Carlos says he’ll get Juanita a tutor because Gabby being her teacher is ruining their relationship. What I would like to know is, since when does Gabby do everything Carlos‘ way?

Julie confides in Lynette that it was Nick she was having the affair with after Lynette over hears them fighting. Julie says Nick loves her and wants her to take him back. Lynette tells Julie that she will handle Nick. Lynette talks to Nick, but he freaks out saying that Julie‘s leading him on and if Lynette tells anyone about the affair, she’s the one who’s going to be sorry. This is when the light bulb goes off in Lynette‘s head that Nick might have been the one that attacked Julie. Lynette tells Tom this and they confront Julie about it, but Julie not-so-convincingly says he would’ve never done it. Lynette and Tom report it to the police, we’ll see what they do about it in the next episode.

Nick Bolen (photo courtesy of tv fanatic)

This week we find out that Angie has known about her husbands affair for weeks. What we don’t know is how she found out. After Lynette and Tom reported Nick to the police, of course the cops wanted to talk to him but Angie lied and gave Nick an alibi saying that he was with her all night. Obviously, Nick doesn’t really have an alibi. Nick is starting to look pretty ding, dang, dong guilty. When Angie confronts Nick about the affair, she says that he can’t go anywhere and she can’t go anywhere so they have to get through this and she’s put him through a lot so he gets this one slip up and then she socks him. What is Angie referring to?

The moral of the story this week? The truth is, there is only so much you can learn from books. The only way to truly learn is from your mistakes.

My questions this week – where was Danny and Ana this episode and where has Cecilia been all season?

Next week – Gabby confesses sins and bribes a priest, someone is sleeping with someone, Susan and Katherine go to court and Gabby finds out that Lynette is pregers. I found the preview a bit confusing.

Watch the Full Episode Here

ABC’s Desperate Housewives

Everybody Ought to Have a Maid

It’s judgment day on Wisteria Lane.

I found this week’s Desperate Housewives to be a tad more amusing then it has been lately and filled with witty one liners.

Julie comes home from the hospital to quite the affectionate crowd. Honestly, way to cheesy for me. Blah. At her welcome home party she breaks up with Dominick, but the decision isn’t mutual. Then, Danny and Dominick have a “man-to-man” conversation in which we find out that Danny and Julie were fighting the night she was attacked because he thought she was lying about having a boyfriend, which of course turns out to be his dad. Dominick tricks Danny into not telling Angie about the affair, but don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll come out soon enough.

Mrs. McCluskey and Roy. (photo courtesy of abc.com)

Mrs. McCluskey is back this week and confides in Lynette about her sex life. “When he’s down, it’s global, you know what I’m saying?” Personally, I think they should put Mrs. McCluskey into the story line using something other than her sex life. Anyway, so Lynette hires Mrs. McCluskey’s boyfriend, Roy, to be their handyman. Turns out, Roy’s the only one on the show who’s not afraid of Lynette and chooses to get Tom‘s permission over Lynette‘s because Tom is the “man of the house” and Lynette is “crunching Tom’s walnuts” which of course totally pisses Lynette off. When Lynette tails Roy, he says “Boy, you’re everywhere. We should get you a bell.” Clever Roy.

Laura Miller, played by One Tree Hill’s Barbara Alyn Woods, accuses Gabby of being a bad mother because she doesn’t hover over her kids 24/7. This ignites a fire in Gabby to throw the best kids birthday ever for Juanita, at which a monkey ends up trying to eat a clown. Success? Not so much. Funny? A little. It was all typical Gabby.

A maid at Bree and Karl’s home-away-from-home hotel finds out that Bree is cheating on her husband and decides to give her a little lesson on morality. “Cheating’s not a sin when you do it in pearls,” the maid said, sarcastically of course. Turns out the maid cheated on her husband and ended up losing him and her boyfriend and is now full of deep regret. Bree admits that she feels awful, but has no intention of stopping. “If you finish your magazine, there’s a bible in the nightstand.” Dude, this maid is funny.

Katherine continues  her fight for Mike, face-flirting with him during the neighborhood watch meeting. It is there that Susan finds out about Katherine hitting on Mike and threatens to seriously hurt her. Then, Susan shoots Katherine in the shoulder at the end of the episode. Complete accident of course. Julie had it because she heard someone lerking around outside, Katherine the spy, and Susan being the klutz she is, fires the gun. Well, the gun was given to Julie by Danny and it was registered under the Bolen’s real name, so Angie convinces Katherine not to call the police because if she doesn’t Mike will totally get back with her. In your dreams Katherine. And Angie, we’re going to find out your secret eventually, so how about you just give us a little hint to go off of, huh?

The moral of the story is, what happens when we start judging ourselves instead of just judging others?

Watch The Full Episode Here

ABC’s Desperate Housewives

The God-Why-Don’t-You-Love-Me Blues – Desperate Housewives

Lynnette's Assets To The Company. (photo courtesy of abc.com)

All of the housewives were involved in the story line this week. The main character, or should I say characters, was not Lynette, but Lynette‘s breasts. It made for a couple of comical scenes, particularly with Carlos.

Ana Catches John and Gabby Kissing. (photo courtesy of abc.com)

Gabby kisses John, or rather John kisses Gabby and Ana catches them. At least in this episode she didn’t tell Carlos, but it’s not guaranteed that it won’t come out in the future.

Bree continuously bails out on work to continue her affair with Karl leaving all the work to psycho Katherine.

Katherine Being Her New Psycho Self. (photo courtesy of abc.com)

Katherine has seriously lost it. Although I have to admit, this is the most I’ve ever liked  Katherine. Watching her hop up and down outside  Mike and Susan‘s house and imagining herself watching a ball game with Mike is all quite comical. Now that shes on the outs with Bree because Bree gave her the ax, I’m pretty sure she’s just going to keep losing it until she completely unravels.

Susan finds out this week that Julie quit med school and was having an affair with a married man. She is let in on this huge secret by Andrew, who yay, came back this episode. The married man, “D” that Julie has been seeing is Dominick Bolen and Danny hints that he knows all about this affair by his comments to his dad at his party. I’m pretty sure the mom has no idea. Anyone else think that the mother-son relationship in that family is kind of odd?

Watch The Full Episode Here

The Days Ahead Could Be Worse – Desperate Housewives Week 2

The Newest Residents of Wisteria Lane (photo courtesy of ABC)

There was an overdose of new storyline possibilities on desperate housewives tonight. Too much drama? No way, you can’t have too much drama. The big story this week was trying to decipher whether or not Danny strangled Julie. All the signs clearly point to Danny, but I can’t help but wonder whether there is more to the story – so far the mystery is too easy to solve. As I predicted, Katherine has pretty much lost it. It’s pretty comical. The oddest thing to me this week was Mrs. McCluskey’s new romance. I personally don’t prefer see Mrs. McCluskey is a post sex scene, but I’m glad she has gotten a larger role in the story line because she is just so funny. Minus Bree, the past two weeks have been all about the children of the housewives. I would like to see more about the housewives and less about their kids, unless the kid is Andrew who disappointingly hasn’t been on the show yet. Or Julie, I’m glad she’s back. Will the days ahead be worse? Of course they will because that’s what makes us tune in every week. Watch The Full Episode Here

Wisteria Lane's Newest Detectives (photo courtesy of ABC)